#wisdom

WHY I AM DOING THIS

Published on December 13, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

NEVER THE SAME // 9 years ago my dad was laying in a hospice bed. His shallow, gargley breaths were a sign that he was “transitioning,” is what I’m pretty sure the nurses called it. Basically, it was the sign his body was giving up. He had fought so hard for so long, battling cancer for 4 1/2 years.

It had started as prostate cancer. When the doctors went into remove his prostate it was too late – the cancer had already spread. I remember my first prayer was, “God, give it to me instead of my dad – I’m younger and my body can handle those treatments better.” I was in the recovery room with the rest of my family and it was so hard to see my dad in such a weak state. I never thought of him as weak. That man had some of the strongest hands I knew, except for my Grandpa “Bud” Luick. His fingers were thicker than sausages!

I remember when Dad told me that his cancer was terminal. I was sitting with him at their kitchen table, still naive to the reality that my dad’s body was dying. Or maybe I was optimistically hopeful that God would heal him.

I remember the day that he got checked into the hospital and never got to come back home. Cancer had spread to his lower back and tailbone. I worked just 5 blocks from Mom and Dad’s house (still do) and would go there for lunch most days. Dad didn’t work that day, or had quit early because he was in so much pain. I took the afternoon off and stayed with him – playing checkers to try to distract him from the pain. He couldn’t focus, moving pieces that weren’t his color or forgetting when it was his turn. He was just in so much pain. That’s the last time I got to be with my dad in the house I grew up in. That sucks.

While Dad was at the hospital I asked if he would write a letter to my future children, because we didn’t have any at the time. He said he we would write one when he got back home from the hospital. Though I never did get the letter, while he was in hospice, Amy and I found out that she was pregnant and I got to tell him. That was our first son Leeland, who we would lose 6 months later.

Hospice wasn’t all bad times. I got to be with my mom and brothers a whole lot. Our family had Thanksgiving together there. I found our dog, Scout, when I was there searching online, sitting by Dad. My favorite memory is when I was in the hospice library with my dad. We were standing there looking at books. I think he was using a walker by this time. I looked down and his pajama pants were down to his ankles. They were just too big and he had no clue that they had fallen down. You have to find the humor in those moments – you just have to.

WHY I AM DOING THIS BLOG // 7:48 PM on December 13, 2013 was when I witnessed my dad, Gerald Alan Wass, take his last breath. He was 60 years old, just 6 days shy of his birthday. For a moment I felt a sense a relief – my dad was healed – but that moment didn’t last long.

I was 31 and still had a lot to questions. I still needed him. I was not prepared to have these huge life moments without him. To this day I still have questions I wish I could ask him.

I don’t want that for my boys. This blog is documenting wisdom that I hope they can use and appreciate far after I’m gone from this earth. This is also a place for them to find stories of my childhood and see what was currently going on. I want them to find peace, encouragement, and wisdom in these words. I want them to not have to guess how much I loved them because it will be written over and over and over and they won’t be able to NOT see it.

DOING IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT // Originally I was intent on writing a blog every single Thursday – no matter what. That caused me to sometimes write just to have something done instead of writing about things that really mattered. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m going to write when I have something, and I’m going to write it then. Not before and not after.

Second, I wrote about what I was going to try to do. I am not great at discipline – I intend to do many things and only accomplish a few. Instead, I will write about what I DID do, not what I planned on doing. I just felt fake because I shared all these ambitions that I challenged others to join me, but I didn’t even stick with it. Who wants to read from a hypocrite? Not me!

Last, even though I am writing for my sons, this is for anyone to read. I figure if this is good enough for my children, hopefully other people will find it useful as well. I hope you find these blogs helpful and encouraging. If you do, please share it with your own friends and family.

GETTING STARTED // You are welcome to start reading my blog from the very beginning, but I believe the best is yet to come. I have so far completely failed with my Ascent to 100. Since my original post I’ve gained 14 pounds. It’s not muscle, I promise you. I’ve struggle to be disciplined and stay focused on really pretty much anything. I think I was trying to do too much at one time, so I just stopped doing all of it. That’s also when I stopped blogging for a while. I needed a break. Here’s my challenge for you with my Getting Started – take a break. Give yourself permission to stop for a while. The world won’t mind.

TO MY BOYS // Milo, I got to hold your little body in my hands and snuggle you while you napped in my arms tonight. You have the best two-toothed smile! When I put you down you instantly wanted me to hold you. I really enjoyed that. While I was getting you in your pajamas you thought it was hilarious that Mom and I were saying “splash!” over and over. I love your laugh! Finley, I had fun with you tonight. We played hide and seek with Mom and Milo – you and I were on the same team. You helped me fill up our humidifiers. Now you’re to the point that you can almost do it all on your own – you just need me to take the lid off. I got to tuck you into bed, reading one book and a Bible story, then I got to pray for you, sing the brave song, and tell you your secrets. I am so proud of both of you. I can’t believe I get to be your dad. Know that your mom and I love you so much! God loves you even more.

LESS TALK

Published on November 10, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

SILENT WISDOM // There is a whole lot of wisdom in the book of Proverbs in the Bible. King Solomon is known as one of the wisest men in history. In my post, Halo of Influence, I share a Proverb about walking with the wise to become wise (Proverbs 13:20). Another Proverb about wisdom (Proverbs 17:27-28) says, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

I was reminded of a few quotes in my life on being silent: We had a coach in high school that would say, “Freshman are seen, not heard.” There was a song back in 1999, also when I was in high school, sung by Alison Krauss where the chorus went, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all.” The Black Eyed Peas reminded us with their hit song to “Shut up, just shut up, shut up.”

In our world today, silence is often perceived as passive or weak. Our generations are used to having instant podiums at their finger tips with social media. The podium gives instant feedback – allowing us to accept those that “like” our ideas and deleting, filtering, unfriending, or even attacking those that disagree. The words put on those screens can be harmful and poisonous. I’ve seen many Facebook posts that people wouldn’t dare say face-to-face. Many studies link social media to an increase in depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Yesterday was election day, which is one of my least favorite seasons. One, I can’t stand all of the commercials, junk mail, junk texts, junk e-mails, and radio ads. The negativity and smear campaigns far outweigh the good that people are doing and the positive impact they’ve made to this world. Two, it causes so much divide among long-time friends, especially on social media. It baffles me that people think they will convince others by bashing their beliefs publicly, like they’ll read those unfiltered attacks and think, “Wow, they’re absolutely right. I’m going to change my mind right now.”

These are times when I can fully understand how Solomon was so right – sometimes the most intelligent thing we can do is keep our mouth (or typing fingers) quiet. In the book of James (James 19:19) in the Bible says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

This doesn’t mean to always be silent, choosing to not speak up or stand up for what’s right. I’m learning that when I don’t know the answer, it’s okay to not make one up. I’ve also found that it’s wiser to take your time before speaking, instead of responding out of anger, frustration, or hurt. Give your emotions time to calm down and your mind time to process. Take a moment to consider the ripple effects of the words you are about to choose. Words have incredible power – in the Bible we see words creating the world, words putting curses on generations of families, and words healing those that were hopeless. Please make sure that the words coming out of your mouth are the ones you really believe in.

GETTING STARTED // I challenge you to reflect on how you interact with people. When you disagree, how do you respond? What is your ultimate objective? Is the outcome what you had hoped for? I recently took the DISC Personality test which reinforced that I’m a people pleaser. I’m not challenging you to let people walk all over you. I’m encouraging you to take an extra moment before you speak to make sure that words about to come out of your mouth are what you intend to speak, and to remember that sometimes the smartest thing you can say is nothing.

TO MY BOYS // “I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad

DIMINISHING RETURN

Published on November 3, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

THE FOOD DILEMMA // In economics there is a Law of Diminishing Returns that says there is a certain point where you hit optimal level of capacity. Once you go above this point you’ll see a smaller increase in output. I have found this same rule to apply in my life with food, but I have a bad habit of ignoring it.

Have you ever eaten something, like a huge piece of cheesecake, where the first three or four bites were absolutely amazing, your next few were still delightful, but by the time you got to the last three or so bites you were stuffed, just forcing it, not because of satisfaction, but it was merely the principle of the thing and there’s no way you’re wasting a single bite of a $10 piece of cheesecake!

In this example, the diminishing return is the decrease in satisfaction from each bite of food. By the time you get to the end, there’s almost no satisfaction at all. If you’re anything like me, I find this law in my food habits almost daily. It’s the last few drinks of the watered-down pop. No bite compares to that first chance to sink your teeth into your favorite burger, but halfway through, you’re mindlessly eating. At the movies, you don’t even know what you’re shoving in your mouth as you’re so engrossed in the movie – you just know that it sounded good before the show started. Does any of this sound familiar?

The problem isn’t the diminishing return in what we consume. For me, one problem is that I continue to consume when I’m not even hungry. This might look playing board games with friends and snacking away even though I’m already full. Finishing my supper even though I wasn’t even that hungry, but didn’t want to waste – I mean, weren’t we taught to clean our plates and not waste? The other problem is eating food like sweets and not stopping when it’s not even worth it anymore. This could look like the cheesecake example I gave above. It also can look like eating sweets when I’m not hungry at all but they just sound yummy to my brain.

NEXT STEPS // Would your eating habits look different if you ate slower, listened to your body, and paid attention to food satisfaction? The goal isn’t to just eat food that tastes good. I eats lots of foods I don’t enjoy that are good for my body, like cooked carrots. The goal is to stop overeating mindlessly and actually enjoy those foods you are eating for satisfaction and stop when they aren’t worth it anymore.

If this is something you struggle with too, you can track what you eat on apps like Noom or MyFitnessPal to start seeing your habits and areas you can improve. This isn’t about calorie counting, but getting a better understanding of what you’re putting in your body and if that’s what you want to do.

That leads to my One Thing for the month of November: I’m going to focus on not eating after 7:00 PM. That’s one of my worst snacking times that I can live without.

$1K 40 DAY CHALLENGE

Published on October 27, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

YOUR SAVINGS SPRINT // The foundation of gaining financial freedom is the ability to start building savings accounts so you don’t have to depend on your next paycheck, a credit card, or a loan to take care of unexpected expenses, like your car breaking down, or planned expenses, like Christmas presents. Whether you are looking to start your first emergency fund (3-6 months of expenses) of finally cashflow Christmas, opening a savings account is the first step to get you there. Then, for this challenge, the sprint to the finish line begins. This is not a race for the tortoise!

Step one should be done right away: open a savings account separate from all of your other accounts. If you typically struggle with dipping into your savings account, I recommend setting it up at a different bank than your checking account, so you can’t easily transfer the money over anytime you want. It would take 3 or so days to transfer from one bank to another, which makes it far less convenient. Denver Savings Bank has a savings account that you can open online in about five minutes. I’m sure there are many other great options, I just know this a good one because I’ve banked there my whole life!

Now that you have your savings account setup it’s time to start filling it up. Write down how much you want save and what it’s for. If you don’t have an emergency fund, this is the best place to start. You should be able to get your first $1,000 in your emergency fund in 40 days or less. Heck, if you start the day I publish this, you’d even have time to save $1,000 to cashflow your Christmas!

WHY 40 DAYS? // You might be asking, “Why did you choose 40 days?” It’s easy math and it feels a lot more attainable than 30 days. $1,000 divided by 40 days is $25 a day – I can do that! You can do that, and I’m going to give you 40 ideas how!

Here are 40 ideas to help your $1K 40 DAY CHALLENGE:

Cash-in old savings bonds // Government issued savings bonds stop growing after 30 years, so it might be time to dust them off and cash-in!
Cancel streaming audio // Streaming audio is really convenient. Who doesn’t want to listen to 90’s Boy Bands commercial free?! Cancel your subscription to Pandora and Spotify just for one month. You’ll be listening to “Bye, Bye, Bye” on demand again before you know it.
Sell old video games and consoles // Do you really need every platform of Playstation? When was the last time you blew on those old Nintendo cartridges and actually played? Some vintage games go for a premium on eBay or Facebook market. For an easy sell for less cash go to a video game store like GameStop.
Skip the groceries & empty the cupboards // Have you ever wondered how you would survive after an apocalypse. Come on, don’t act like you didn’t want The Walking Dead to happen a little bit. This is your chance to rummage through the cupboards and eat every last calorie you own instead of loading your cart. This could save you hundreds! Note: You might want to buy the staples like milk, bread, and some fruit so you don’t get scurvy.
Limit your travel // Get strategic with your trips to town. We live 30 minutes away from most entertainment, stores, and restaurants. If you do as well, try to get all your errands done in one trip instead of several individual trips.
Put in some OT // A quick and easy option for you if you work at a job that allows overtime. This is actually one of my least favorite options, because most other options can be done as a family and this one will take you away from your family. If this is for a splurge, don’t do more than a couple extra hours a week. This is totally acceptable, however, if you’re trying to fill your emergency fund ASAP.
Stick to the grocery list // Might not seem like a savings tip, but I come home with AT LEAST $25 more in groceries when I shop at places like Sam’s Club. Stick to your original list, and don’t do your grocery shopping hungry!
Buy generic // Buying generic can feel like finger nails on a chalk board. I mean, nothing compares to Kraft macaroni and cheese, but there are many recipes that you would have no idea if you replaced a name brand for generic. Over the counter medications and kidney beans are great examples. Not sure why I listed kidney beans…
Lower your utility bill // This could probably be a whole section itself, but simple ways to lower your utility bill include putting plastic on your window in the winter, keeping your lights off when the sun is shining, if there’s nobody in the room, or when you’re not home (I hope my wife is reading this), unplugging electronics you aren’t using, and having your whole family use the same water to bathe in. I’m not serious about the last one, but I know it’s a thing.
Skip the babysitter // I am all about date nights, and I’m all about supporting local, but it might be time to call grandma for a free babysitter or have an at-home date night. You could also switch off with your friends, watching their children one night and they’ll watch yours another. Maybe you can charge your friends $25 towards your fund. 🙂
Cancel lawn or cleaning service // Yes, it’s super convenient to have someone maintain your lawn or clean your house, but how much could you save by mowing your own lawn for a week and giving the maid a break?
Lower your cable or satellite bill // Did you know that you can lower your cable bill or satellite bill just by calling and asking? Many times they’ll thank you for being such a loyal customer and lower it on the spot. Other times, if you press just a little bit, they’ll finally cave in. Especially if your contract is up and you could leave at any time. It’s better for them that you spend a little less per month than leave.
Cancel cable or satellite // Why are you still paying from an annual contract? Cancel it totally, if you can. If you miss it so bad a month later, they usually have a new introductory rate, or you can finally switch the streaming, like YouTube TV or Hulu TV and only pay month-to-month.
Lower your car insurance // Another example of simply picking up the phone and asking. Sometimes your insurance agent can find another plan that has the same coverage at a lower rate, or you might find out that your coverage is way too much for what you’re driving.
Finally use your gift cards // How many Target or Walmart gift cards do you have floating around the house? What are you waiting for? The perfect moment? This is that perfect moment! Use up your gift cards for a “free” night out or even more romantic, “free” groceries! One of my best friends says, “It always tastes better free.” He’s right.
Sell your unused gift cards // If you’re never going to use it, then get rid of it. Some start having fees and lower in value after a certain amount of time, so the sooner the better. If it’s a $50 gift card, don’t be shy about selling it for $40 or $45. It’s still more than the $0 it’s worth if you never use it!
Adjust the thermostat // For the entire month, turn the thermostat up three degrees if it’s hot, down three degrees if it’s cold, or turn it off completely if you can hack it.
Order off the Kid’s menu // If going out to eat is super important to you, let go of your pride and order a kid’s meal. My family orders from the kids’ menu at Culver’s, paying a fraction of the cost and still getting more calories than we need. And I get even more than when I steal some of my three year old’s fries. Drink a pop and you can have unlimited calories! Don’t actually do that though…you’ll get sick.
Drink water // Skip the energy drinks, fountain pops (or sodas, if you’re from the South), fancy teas, sports drinks, and just drink water. Note: Don’t buy a bottle of water! That defeats the purpose here. Bring a bottle with you and refill it as you need.
Quit smoking and chewing // If there’s ever a time to quit, now is usually the best time. This is a great motivation to kick that habit that’s costing you a lot of cash every week.
Say “No” to your kids // Have you ever been sucked into buying something that your kid asked for? It’s okay to say “no” – they know that you love them. Eventually their breakdown in the Target toy section will be removed from the security camera history. Instead of saying “Yes” at the toy aisle, give them five minutes to touch every toy. Once the timer goes off, it’s time to go.
Pack a lunch for work // Nobody enjoys packing a lunch for work, and I know I like a good excuse to eat out for lunch like the next person, but try it. Just for a week. Or two. Or four.
Carpool/bike/walk to work // Time to get out the rubber bands to put around the dress pants to bicycle to work. You could also carpool, take the bus, or walk to work if it’s close enough. Gas prices are crazy, so any opportunity to drive less is a good option.
Skip the salon // I have a bald head, so I have no idea what it costs to get your hair done. I also have no idea what it costs to get your hair dyed, but I’m sure that the Cost Cutters end of the spectrum would still be a good cost savings. Let those roots show, maybe that will be the next new trend!
Cancel digital reading // Audio books like Audible are the only way I successfully get through reading books, but there are also free options available. Many libraries offer free apps from Hoopla or Libby that come with your free membership. It’s funny to me that you get one free audio book each month with an Audible monthly subscription. How is that free?
Cancel streaming TV // Hear me out! I’m only asking you to quit binging for a month. Maybe it will encourage you to try new things, like sunlight. This is also a great opportunity to watch the movies stored under your TV that you haven’t opened since you bought them. Your local library is also a great resource for free movies and TV shows. If you can’t tell, our family loves the library!
Offer to do odd jobs for friends // I joked earlier about babysitting for your friends, but it’s actually not all that crazy. If you tell your friends what you’re trying to accomplish and ask if they have any odd jobs they need help with, you might be surprised how many want to help. Plus, it’s not like you’re just sitting around, doing nothing, and asking them to donate to you Go Fund Me. What special skills do you have that they might find helpful?
Sell baby/kids clothes // As your kids outgrow their baby and kids clothes – sell them. Garage sales and Facebook Market are both great ways to sell kids clothes fast. I prefer Facebook, because then you don’t have to wait for you city to have a garage sale. Note: Don’t sell these clothes if you’re planning on having more kids.
Host a garage sale // Garage sales are one of my least favorite ways to make money, but they can be effective…if you have realistic garage sale prices. It important to remember that your goal is not to get the most money out of each item. The goal is to get the most items out of your garage. This can be a great way to get rid of a lot of stuff from a Minimalist Challenge.
Slow down your internet // Gone are the days that you just pay for internet. Now you have to choose from a menu of how many gigs you want, or if you want the Gamer package. Call your internet provider and have them move your internet down to a slower speed. You might end up noticing no difference and saving even more.
Cut the landline // If you are reading this explanation, your situation might be worse than I thought. It’s time to cut the landline. If the world ends, or if all cell phone towers break down, your landline will still do you no good because everyone you’ll want to call only has a cell phone. It’s time to let go.
Get rid of extra data // You are spending a premium for unlimited data on your phone. If you have access to Wifi at work and at home it’s pretty easy to minimize your data usage. Even streaming movies and podcasts can be downloaded when you’re in Wifi areas so you don’t have to use up data when you’re on the move.
Prepay your phone // An easy way to save a bunch on your phone is to switch it over to prepay. You can’t owe any money on your phone in order to switch, but we’ve saved at least $30 a month switching to prepay with Verizon.
Ask to lower to cell phone bill // It’s amazing how much you can save just by asking what the cell phone company can do to lower your bill. It’s even more amazing to see how low they will go when you threaten to switch providers.
Start your side hustle // I enjoy flipping LEGO sets and other stuff I purchase at garage sales. One of my friends enjoys fixing lawn mowers and snowblowers for some extra cash. What interests and skills do you have to start your very own side hustle? This usually takes some cash up front to get started, so make sure you get more money out of it than you put into it.
No spend challenge // Try having a No Spend November by trying to limit all spending as much as possible for an entire month. Live as cheaply as you possible can for one month and move all of that savings into your $1K account.
Skip the morning Starbucks // I put this close to the end because I was afraid you’d stop reading here. If you would just cut one coffee each week for a month you would easily save at least $20.
Pretend you went out for supper // This might sound a little crazy, but if you budget for going out to eat and choose not to, transfer those funds over to that $1K account. For example, we usually go out for lunch on Sunday after church. If we choose to skip and eat lunch at home, I would transfer those funds over to our savings.
Sell on Facebook Market or Craigslist // Is Craigslist still a thing? This is another great option if you’ve done The Minimalist Challenge. I used to sell a lot more on eBay, but the fees kill you and I really don’t enjoy packing stuff and mailing it through the post office. Facebook Market doesn’t have fees (for now) and it’s easy to meet someone quick and sell. Note: Meet in a public area like a gas station parking lot. I don’t like having people come to my house either.
Get creative // Look at your resources, your location, and your opportunities to figure out a fun way to get creative and make some money.

NEXT STEPS // Get that $1K Savings account opened up and get to work. Go through the list of ideas above, then brainstorm for 15 minutes about any other ideas that excite you and are best for your abilities and opportunities. I know there are so many other ways out there to make $25 or to save $25 a day.

You shouldn’t spend more than 30-60 minutes each day of this challenge. Working on it under 60 minutes a day would mean you’re making $25 an hour – not bad! Don’t get frustrated if you don’t make $25 in a single day, you’ll also have some $50 and $100 days, too. If you stay focused you will more than likely get it done in less than 30 days.

Once you complete your $1K 40 DAY CHALLENGE, please get back on this blog and leave feedback on how many days it took you to complete the challenge and how you did it. I would love to have more ideas on how people can make their $1K happen.

THE ASCENT Part 4

Published on October 20, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

RESTART BUTTON // I shared in THE ASCENT Part 3 of recent struggles in my Ascent to improve my health with the ultimate goal of reaching the age of 100 years old. I thought that month was just a hiccup and I would soon be back on the path to improving my health…I was wrong. At that time, I was up 5 lbs from the pervious month, 1 1/2 lbs more than when I started on my 40th birthday in July. This morning I weighed 219.5 lbs, 9 1/2 lbs more than last month and 10 lbs higher than my original weight 3 months ago. I realize that weight isn’t everything, but I also feel crappier. It’s been hard to wake up in the morning, I’ve had 4 migraines in the past week, my body just feels tired all the time. I feel stressed, anxious. What do I do about it? I keep shoving any food I can get to into my face and say I’ll start again tomorrow. That’s been really pretty much the sum of my adult life. I’ll gain weight, lose it for a while, gain weight, lose it for a while and never consistently keep it off.

Something needs to change. What is it?

I can’t keep doing this same thing and expect a different outcome. They say that’s the definition of insanity, right?! I’ve tried the workouts (P90X, NLXF, Crossfit, T25), worked out at gyms (LA Fitness, Planet Fitness, YMCA), tried having 1 cheat day a week, Noom, eating 1/2 of my french fries (my brother still makes fun of me for that). They all worked (except maybe the french fries), but they never stayed. So, what was wrong with them? There was one common denominator: Me.

ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGE // According to his blog on improving health and productivity, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits shares, “Making changes can be difficult. It’s hard to get motivated to do something over and over again – even when we know that it’s good for you.” Later on in the article he says, “You may think that you control most of your choices, but the truth is that a large portion of your actions every day are simply a response to the environment design around you.” He goes on to give some great tips of simple ways you can change the environment around you to get more of the outcomes that you want. If you want to floss more, make floss easier to get to. If you want to eat more fruit and less cookies – hide the cookies and put the fruit on the counter.

Where do I start? Do I go through all of my kitchen cupboards and throw away everything that isn’t going to get me where I want to go? Do I wake up at 5 AM every day and workout? Do I just eat clean foods that will better fuel my body? Yes.

Is that a simple enough answer? Listen, we all know what we need to do to become healthy, but we just usually choose the other option, right? I mean, c’mon! What is it going to take to change from knowing what we should do to transition to doing what we should do? I don’t know that answer yet, but you’re welcome to come along on this journey with me as I’m looking for a sustainable healthy lifestyle.

WHAT I’M TRYING // I’m going to try exactly what I said above. I’m going to start going to bed at 9:00 PM and getting up at 5:00 AM each morning. I still don’t know exactly what I’m going to do at that time, but I want to start the habit of showing up and I’ll figure it out as I go. I also plan on getting rid of those foods that don’t help me. Doesn’t mean I will never get to eat them, but I want them out of the house, and I want it to take an extra effort to eat the things that I don’t need. I also want to be picky about it – when I’m going to eat something that I won’t get very often, it’s gotta be the best! I’m talking Cheesecake Factory, not instant cheesecake. Lastly, I’m going to pretend I’m a healthy person and put food into my body like that healthy person I always imagined I would be. Maybe I can fake it until I make it!

GETTING STARTED // If you’re crazy enough, you’re welcome to join me in anything I’m trying here. Anytime you’re trying something that could effect your health, it’s good to run it by your Dr. If you aren’t interested in what I’m going to do, what is a habit you would like to start or stop? What is one thing you can do tomorrow to make it easier to start? Or what is one thing you can do to make it easier to quit?

TO MY BOYS // “You are one of the main reasons I’m doing this. I want to be there for you for a long time, and I realize that right now I’m only getting in my way. I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad

FORGIVENESS

Published on October 7, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

POISON // I was recently listening to a Focus on the Family Marriage podcast that was talking about forgiveness. They shared one of the most powerful quotes on forgiveness I think I’ve ever heard: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.”

Let me share that quote again just in case you skipped over it quickly the first time: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.”

GETTING STARTED // This is a tough one! If the quote above is bringing shivers down your spine or tightness in your chest it’s because it was intended for you to read right now. You may have hurt in your life and for too long have allowed another person to control your outcome, or at least your emotions and mental health. It’s time to forgive.

When you forgive someone you are not condoning, forgetting, or sweeping under the rug what happened. You also aren’t saying you trust them or that things will ever be the same. What you are doing is freeing yourself from their control and allowing for healing to breakthrough. There is freedom in forgiveness. There is healing in forgiveness. You can do this!

PUT YOUR FRICKIN’ PHONE DOWN!

Published on September 20, 2022September 29, 2022 by nimaj31 Comment

WATCH WHAT YOU WATCH // I faced a harsh reality the first Sunday morning of this month. I received a notification on my watch from my phone, and it was this:

I averaged 3 hours each day on my device that previous week! 1/8 of my day was on my phone. Let’s say I get 7 hours of sleep a day. That would mean I spent 18% of my waking day on my freakin’ phone! Take out 8 hours for work in a day. 1/3 of my time outside of work or sleep was dependent on my cell phone. That’s a problem!

My wife, Amy, and I enjoy taking our boys to playgrounds. Pretty much any playground we go to that has other kids, it’s sadly predictable what the parent is doing. Sitting on a bench looking at their cell phone.

I was recently at Culver’s for lunch with my family and decided to do something different when I was waiting in line: I chose to stay off my cell phone. While observing other people I noticed a dad with two high school aged kids. They were obviously dating. The entire time I was in line all three of them were on their cell phones. What’s the point in sitting down and eating together?!

My One Thing for September is reducing the time spent on my phone. I figured reducing by 30 minutes is a great goal, but it still means I spent 2 1/2 hours on my phone. That’s still too much, isn’t it?

GETTING STARTED // Here’s some tips that might help, if you want to join me in reducing screen time on cell phones:

Set time limits on your smart phone for social media, games, and other time-sucking apps.
Give your smart watch a break when you are with your family.
Leave your cell phone at home sometimes.
Some parents limit their children’s screen time – why not do it yourself?
Ditch the unlimited data on plan. There’s a good chance you’re paying for more than you need, plus there’s nothing encouraging you to limit yourself. For instance, if I had a tankless water heater, I would probably never get out of the shower.

Here’s my progress through the month:
9/4/22 3 hr 1 min
9/11/22 1 hr 43 min
9/18/22 2 hr 37 min
9/26/22 2 hr 30 min

I’ve for sure made progress, but would still like to get my screen time below 2 hours a day. What makes it difficult is that I use my phone for work, as well as listening to podcasts and audiobooks when I travel or exercise. The areas that I’ve really focused on limiting are the apps that suck me in to thoughtless viewing, such as social media and sports news. I don’t get into games on my phone, but I could see that taking a lot of time, as well.

Please comment below if you have found some good hacks to encourage limiting screen time on smart phones.

SPENDING YOUR DAYS

Published on September 15, 2022September 14, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

TIME // Time is the most finite resource we have on this earth. My dad, Gerry Wass, died when he was only sixty years old, just 6 days shy of his sixty-first birthday. His birthday was the day of his funeral. I recently turned 40 and couldn’t help by think, “What would my dad have done differently if he knew he only had 20 years left; that 2/3 of this life had already been spent?”

I don’t know the answer to that lonely question. I’m forever left just to speculate.

Here’s what I would speculate:

He would’ve quit his job and done something that he would’ve actually enjoyed for work.
In fact, he would’ve retired early, instead of working almost up until the day he died.
He wouldn’t have been so cheap. He proved that by whipping out his checkbook to buy a boat just a few years before he died. That was not very Gerry at all!
He wouldn’t have gotten so anxious about stuff that never happened or didn’t matter.
He would’ve spent every waking moment with the people he really cared about.
He would’ve written a letter to my sons, that he would never meet on this side of Heaven.

YOUR LIFE // The (morbid) reality is that any of us could get hit by a car tomorrow, have a heart attack, die from surgery complications, or get news from the Dr. that we have cancer, like my dad. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

What’s amazing with this moment right now is that you are still alive. That is such a gift! Who knows how much longer you’ll be here? If you knew that you only had 5, 10, or 20 years left on this earth. What would you do different today? What’s keeping you from doing it?

GETTING STARTED // Have you taken time to think about what you want to do with your life? It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and then a blink turns into 5 years gone by. Sit down and take some time to map out what you would like your next 5 years to look like. Make some goals. Be intentional with those people in your life that you want to spend time with. Most of all, remember to spend your hours and days wisely. You will never get them back and you aren’t guaranteed any more.

HALO OF INFLUENCE

Published on September 1, 2022September 1, 2022 by nimaj31 Comment

YOU ARE WHAT YOUR SURROUND YOURSELF WITH // Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if I fully believe that, but I do know that the environments we are exposed to shape who we are. We were born into some of those environments and had zero control over them, while others we can have a lot of control of.

I know that when I hang out with certain people, I get really excited hearing about their projects, business dreams, or recent vacations. That motivates me to be a more productive and driven man! At least for a few days…until the feeling wears off.

There is also what I will call the Culver’s dilemma. When I go out to eat and have the best intentions of ordering something healthier, or at least smaller potions, then hear my wife order a double cheeseburger basket with cheese curds, my good intentions get thrown out the drive-up window right away and I’m getting the same, but with fries and a small chocolate Reese’s peanut butter cup concrete mixer with peanut butter sauce. What’s wrong with me?!

PROVERB // In the Bible, Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” If we just put ourselves in the radius of wise people we become wise, like it will just rub off on us! But it also warns that if we hang out with fools we’re going to suffer. Not that we will become a fool, but that we will suffer harm. The biggest takeaway here is that both have a major impact on outcome. One outcome being Wisdom while the other outcome is Harm. When you look back at some of your childhood stories and some of the dumbest things you did in your life – how many of them involved an idea from someone else? Or trying to do what someone else was doing?

When I was in middle school we had a Home Economics class where we had to learn how to use a sewing machine. One day we were given the task of following a dot-to-dot with a threadless needle to work on our sewing accuracy and agility. This exercise didn’t take long, leaving idle hands for some foolish company. One kid, we’ll call him Tim, was sitting at his machine and there were a few of us around him. I stupidly dared another kid to stick his finger under the needle. He declined. I said, “Duh, watch.” No sooner had I put the tip of my finger directly under that needle when Tim’s foot tapped the pedal. I still have a scar on the tip of my left pointer finger as a reminder of how stupid that was.

DEFYING GRAVITY // Now think back to those moments that you would say you were at your best. What was different? You were motived. You had a goal. You probably had a friend, or team, or coach, or mentor, or parent, or spouse at your side all along the way. If you want to defy gravity, defying the world around you, it takes clear dreams, but it also takes a great support system around you.

DON’T BE A FOOL // In James Clear’s book Atomic Habits he has a quote that will forever be engraved in my mind: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” I would take that a step further and say the people you choose to welcome into your life are a step towards the person you will become.

Dear Sons,

Don’t be a fool! Don’t surround yourself with people that are making choices that you don’t want for your life. Don’t hang out with people that don’t speak truth and life into you. If someone sucks the life out of you – respectfully decline their company. I’m not saying this because I’m afraid you’ll embarrass me. I love you always and no matter what. If I have to, I will be that father pacing back and forth for the prodigal son. I’m saying this because I don’t want you to waste your life.

GETTING STARTED // Write down the top 5-10 people in your life. Not in theory, but who are the people you invest the most time with? Write down their names on a piece of paper. Are those people what you want to become like? Are they encouraging and helping you grow to be a better person or are they sucking the life out of you? Sometimes there is a very difficult reality that you might need some new friends.