#improve

WHY I AM DOING THIS

Published on December 13, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

NEVER THE SAME // 9 years ago my dad was laying in a hospice bed. His shallow, gargley breaths were a sign that he was “transitioning,” is what I’m pretty sure the nurses called it. Basically, it was the sign his body was giving up. He had fought so hard for so long, battling cancer for 4 1/2 years.

It had started as prostate cancer. When the doctors went into remove his prostate it was too late – the cancer had already spread. I remember my first prayer was, “God, give it to me instead of my dad – I’m younger and my body can handle those treatments better.” I was in the recovery room with the rest of my family and it was so hard to see my dad in such a weak state. I never thought of him as weak. That man had some of the strongest hands I knew, except for my Grandpa “Bud” Luick. His fingers were thicker than sausages!

I remember when Dad told me that his cancer was terminal. I was sitting with him at their kitchen table, still naive to the reality that my dad’s body was dying. Or maybe I was optimistically hopeful that God would heal him.

I remember the day that he got checked into the hospital and never got to come back home. Cancer had spread to his lower back and tailbone. I worked just 5 blocks from Mom and Dad’s house (still do) and would go there for lunch most days. Dad didn’t work that day, or had quit early because he was in so much pain. I took the afternoon off and stayed with him – playing checkers to try to distract him from the pain. He couldn’t focus, moving pieces that weren’t his color or forgetting when it was his turn. He was just in so much pain. That’s the last time I got to be with my dad in the house I grew up in. That sucks.

While Dad was at the hospital I asked if he would write a letter to my future children, because we didn’t have any at the time. He said he we would write one when he got back home from the hospital. Though I never did get the letter, while he was in hospice, Amy and I found out that she was pregnant and I got to tell him. That was our first son Leeland, who we would lose 6 months later.

Hospice wasn’t all bad times. I got to be with my mom and brothers a whole lot. Our family had Thanksgiving together there. I found our dog, Scout, when I was there searching online, sitting by Dad. My favorite memory is when I was in the hospice library with my dad. We were standing there looking at books. I think he was using a walker by this time. I looked down and his pajama pants were down to his ankles. They were just too big and he had no clue that they had fallen down. You have to find the humor in those moments – you just have to.

WHY I AM DOING THIS BLOG // 7:48 PM on December 13, 2013 was when I witnessed my dad, Gerald Alan Wass, take his last breath. He was 60 years old, just 6 days shy of his birthday. For a moment I felt a sense a relief – my dad was healed – but that moment didn’t last long.

I was 31 and still had a lot to questions. I still needed him. I was not prepared to have these huge life moments without him. To this day I still have questions I wish I could ask him.

I don’t want that for my boys. This blog is documenting wisdom that I hope they can use and appreciate far after I’m gone from this earth. This is also a place for them to find stories of my childhood and see what was currently going on. I want them to find peace, encouragement, and wisdom in these words. I want them to not have to guess how much I loved them because it will be written over and over and over and they won’t be able to NOT see it.

DOING IT A LITTLE DIFFERENT // Originally I was intent on writing a blog every single Thursday – no matter what. That caused me to sometimes write just to have something done instead of writing about things that really mattered. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m going to write when I have something, and I’m going to write it then. Not before and not after.

Second, I wrote about what I was going to try to do. I am not great at discipline – I intend to do many things and only accomplish a few. Instead, I will write about what I DID do, not what I planned on doing. I just felt fake because I shared all these ambitions that I challenged others to join me, but I didn’t even stick with it. Who wants to read from a hypocrite? Not me!

Last, even though I am writing for my sons, this is for anyone to read. I figure if this is good enough for my children, hopefully other people will find it useful as well. I hope you find these blogs helpful and encouraging. If you do, please share it with your own friends and family.

GETTING STARTED // You are welcome to start reading my blog from the very beginning, but I believe the best is yet to come. I have so far completely failed with my Ascent to 100. Since my original post I’ve gained 14 pounds. It’s not muscle, I promise you. I’ve struggle to be disciplined and stay focused on really pretty much anything. I think I was trying to do too much at one time, so I just stopped doing all of it. That’s also when I stopped blogging for a while. I needed a break. Here’s my challenge for you with my Getting Started – take a break. Give yourself permission to stop for a while. The world won’t mind.

TO MY BOYS // Milo, I got to hold your little body in my hands and snuggle you while you napped in my arms tonight. You have the best two-toothed smile! When I put you down you instantly wanted me to hold you. I really enjoyed that. While I was getting you in your pajamas you thought it was hilarious that Mom and I were saying “splash!” over and over. I love your laugh! Finley, I had fun with you tonight. We played hide and seek with Mom and Milo – you and I were on the same team. You helped me fill up our humidifiers. Now you’re to the point that you can almost do it all on your own – you just need me to take the lid off. I got to tuck you into bed, reading one book and a Bible story, then I got to pray for you, sing the brave song, and tell you your secrets. I am so proud of both of you. I can’t believe I get to be your dad. Know that your mom and I love you so much! God loves you even more.

THE ASCENT Part 4

Published on October 20, 2022 by nimaj3Leave a comment

RESTART BUTTON // I shared in THE ASCENT Part 3 of recent struggles in my Ascent to improve my health with the ultimate goal of reaching the age of 100 years old. I thought that month was just a hiccup and I would soon be back on the path to improving my health…I was wrong. At that time, I was up 5 lbs from the pervious month, 1 1/2 lbs more than when I started on my 40th birthday in July. This morning I weighed 219.5 lbs, 9 1/2 lbs more than last month and 10 lbs higher than my original weight 3 months ago. I realize that weight isn’t everything, but I also feel crappier. It’s been hard to wake up in the morning, I’ve had 4 migraines in the past week, my body just feels tired all the time. I feel stressed, anxious. What do I do about it? I keep shoving any food I can get to into my face and say I’ll start again tomorrow. That’s been really pretty much the sum of my adult life. I’ll gain weight, lose it for a while, gain weight, lose it for a while and never consistently keep it off.

Something needs to change. What is it?

I can’t keep doing this same thing and expect a different outcome. They say that’s the definition of insanity, right?! I’ve tried the workouts (P90X, NLXF, Crossfit, T25), worked out at gyms (LA Fitness, Planet Fitness, YMCA), tried having 1 cheat day a week, Noom, eating 1/2 of my french fries (my brother still makes fun of me for that). They all worked (except maybe the french fries), but they never stayed. So, what was wrong with them? There was one common denominator: Me.

ENVIRONMENTAL CHANGE // According to his blog on improving health and productivity, James Clear, author of Atomic Habits shares, “Making changes can be difficult. It’s hard to get motivated to do something over and over again – even when we know that it’s good for you.” Later on in the article he says, “You may think that you control most of your choices, but the truth is that a large portion of your actions every day are simply a response to the environment design around you.” He goes on to give some great tips of simple ways you can change the environment around you to get more of the outcomes that you want. If you want to floss more, make floss easier to get to. If you want to eat more fruit and less cookies – hide the cookies and put the fruit on the counter.

Where do I start? Do I go through all of my kitchen cupboards and throw away everything that isn’t going to get me where I want to go? Do I wake up at 5 AM every day and workout? Do I just eat clean foods that will better fuel my body? Yes.

Is that a simple enough answer? Listen, we all know what we need to do to become healthy, but we just usually choose the other option, right? I mean, c’mon! What is it going to take to change from knowing what we should do to transition to doing what we should do? I don’t know that answer yet, but you’re welcome to come along on this journey with me as I’m looking for a sustainable healthy lifestyle.

WHAT I’M TRYING // I’m going to try exactly what I said above. I’m going to start going to bed at 9:00 PM and getting up at 5:00 AM each morning. I still don’t know exactly what I’m going to do at that time, but I want to start the habit of showing up and I’ll figure it out as I go. I also plan on getting rid of those foods that don’t help me. Doesn’t mean I will never get to eat them, but I want them out of the house, and I want it to take an extra effort to eat the things that I don’t need. I also want to be picky about it – when I’m going to eat something that I won’t get very often, it’s gotta be the best! I’m talking Cheesecake Factory, not instant cheesecake. Lastly, I’m going to pretend I’m a healthy person and put food into my body like that healthy person I always imagined I would be. Maybe I can fake it until I make it!

GETTING STARTED // If you’re crazy enough, you’re welcome to join me in anything I’m trying here. Anytime you’re trying something that could effect your health, it’s good to run it by your Dr. If you aren’t interested in what I’m going to do, what is a habit you would like to start or stop? What is one thing you can do tomorrow to make it easier to start? Or what is one thing you can do to make it easier to quit?

TO MY BOYS // “You are one of the main reasons I’m doing this. I want to be there for you for a long time, and I realize that right now I’m only getting in my way. I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad

THE ASCENT Part 3

Published on September 22, 2022September 21, 2022 by nimaj31 Comment

Backsliding // I have never hiked a long, trecherous journey up a mountain before. Most of my experience is from watching movies like Lord of the Rings or Everest. In these movies you never expect it to be an easy expedition. Who wants to watch Frodo be gifted a new piece of jewelry and just skip his way to a volcano top to throw it away, then skip his way back to the Shire to live our the rest of his days? That would be terribly boring. We need to see the hero face their deepest fears, overcome nearly impossible odds, and defeat the villain when it seems most unlikely. In Lord of the Rings, there were 3 movies and over 9 hours of obstacles, before ultimately making it to Mount Doom to destroy the ring. In Everest, it was reaching the summit of Mount Everest through the most treacherous of storms. All of these characters faced setbacks along the way to their ascent.

This past month has been my first setback since beginning my Ascent to 100 years-old. It’s been a struggle for me to wakeup every morning. I have the best intentions of eating healthy food each morning and throughout the day, then find any excuse I can to eat junk food instead. Once I enjoy one sweet treat, then I might as well just eat what I want for the rest of the day and reset tomorrow. Unfortunately, tomorrow can become twenty one tomorrows. I’ve also been dealing with a tight achilles, lost my new running shoes (left them at a softball tournament, never to be found), pulled a muscle in my back, and have been struggling with constant feelings of sadness and anxiety. The best way I could explain it to my wife, Amy, is that I just felt off. I don’t feel like me. I believe it’s depression. That’s a difficult word to write, it’s even harder to say. I’ve been feeling so disconnected and far from God and disconnected from pretty much all people.

Thankfully this is not the end.

WIN TODAY // Somehow, I’ve been keeping up with my 20+ push-ups, which is now up to 27+ push-ups and 10 pull-ups. For further explanation, see The Ascent Part 2. That’s pretty much the only thing I’ve stuck with. I haven’t been running or walking since I lost my shoes, and I’ve been eating junk food like a junior higher that was given a year’s allowance in one day.

Today is a different day, though.

Nick Saban is one of the winningest coaches in college football today. He coaches one of my least favorite college football teams in America, the dreaded Alabama Crimson Tide. They are basically the Yankees of college football – I love to watch them…lose, mainly because it rarely happens. Though I don’t like the team, I do like the motto that Saban coaches by, “Win this down.” Don’t focus on what happened or what could happen, but put all the energy you have into winning this play, right now. Then do it again, and again, and again. I am re-implementing this mentality that I all-to-easily forget: Win Today.

I am choosing to take the ascent on one day, one meal, one step at a time. I am committing to winning today, no matter how I failed yesterday or what obstacles will come tomorrow. I will win today. Then I’ll win tomorrow, and the next day, then the next.

MY UPDATE // 07.21.2022 vs.09.21.2022

7.21.2022 [above] // 09.21.2022 [below]

	BASELINE // 07.22.2022	UPDATE // 09.21.2022
WEIGHT	209 LBS	210.5 LBS (up 5 lbs from last month)
LDH	120 U/L (low by 35)	No Update
Cholesterol	209 mg/dL (high by 9)	No Update
HDL	132 mg/dL (high by 32)	No Update
3 Mile Run	33:04	Didn’t run all month

As you can see from above, September was not a month of progress. I gained five pounds in the last month and haven’t run since I lost my running shoes, and I’ve been trying to get my achilles to heal.

GETTING STARTED // What setbacks are you facing? What is one area you’ve been trying to see breakthrough for years and find yourself back in the same place? Smoking? Pornography? Food? Saying Yes? Work? Your Marriage?

It starts by figuring out your Why. Why is it that you want this change in your life? My Why is that I am going to be 60 when my youngest turns 20 years old and I want to be able to keep up with my kids even then. I also want to be there to hold my grandchildren. Actually, I want to be the one that officiates their weddings! Find your Why, write it down, and remind yourself of it every morning, every time you don’t want to wake up, and every time you feel discouraged or tempted to fall back into the same patterns.

ALL THINGS // Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Your Why is absolutely important, but what’s more important is knowing that there is a God who loves you. He sent his son, Jesus, to die for you, then Jesus came back 3 days later and conquered death forever so you can have freedom and a forever home in heaven one day. You are enough, whether you accomplish your goal or not. You are enough.

TO MY BOYS // “I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad

HALO OF INFLUENCE

Published on September 1, 2022September 1, 2022 by nimaj31 Comment

YOU ARE WHAT YOUR SURROUND YOURSELF WITH // Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if I fully believe that, but I do know that the environments we are exposed to shape who we are. We were born into some of those environments and had zero control over them, while others we can have a lot of control of.

I know that when I hang out with certain people, I get really excited hearing about their projects, business dreams, or recent vacations. That motivates me to be a more productive and driven man! At least for a few days…until the feeling wears off.

There is also what I will call the Culver’s dilemma. When I go out to eat and have the best intentions of ordering something healthier, or at least smaller potions, then hear my wife order a double cheeseburger basket with cheese curds, my good intentions get thrown out the drive-up window right away and I’m getting the same, but with fries and a small chocolate Reese’s peanut butter cup concrete mixer with peanut butter sauce. What’s wrong with me?!

PROVERB // In the Bible, Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” If we just put ourselves in the radius of wise people we become wise, like it will just rub off on us! But it also warns that if we hang out with fools we’re going to suffer. Not that we will become a fool, but that we will suffer harm. The biggest takeaway here is that both have a major impact on outcome. One outcome being Wisdom while the other outcome is Harm. When you look back at some of your childhood stories and some of the dumbest things you did in your life – how many of them involved an idea from someone else? Or trying to do what someone else was doing?

When I was in middle school we had a Home Economics class where we had to learn how to use a sewing machine. One day we were given the task of following a dot-to-dot with a threadless needle to work on our sewing accuracy and agility. This exercise didn’t take long, leaving idle hands for some foolish company. One kid, we’ll call him Tim, was sitting at his machine and there were a few of us around him. I stupidly dared another kid to stick his finger under the needle. He declined. I said, “Duh, watch.” No sooner had I put the tip of my finger directly under that needle when Tim’s foot tapped the pedal. I still have a scar on the tip of my left pointer finger as a reminder of how stupid that was.

DEFYING GRAVITY // Now think back to those moments that you would say you were at your best. What was different? You were motived. You had a goal. You probably had a friend, or team, or coach, or mentor, or parent, or spouse at your side all along the way. If you want to defy gravity, defying the world around you, it takes clear dreams, but it also takes a great support system around you.

DON’T BE A FOOL // In James Clear’s book Atomic Habits he has a quote that will forever be engraved in my mind: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” I would take that a step further and say the people you choose to welcome into your life are a step towards the person you will become.

Dear Sons,

Don’t be a fool! Don’t surround yourself with people that are making choices that you don’t want for your life. Don’t hang out with people that don’t speak truth and life into you. If someone sucks the life out of you – respectfully decline their company. I’m not saying this because I’m afraid you’ll embarrass me. I love you always and no matter what. If I have to, I will be that father pacing back and forth for the prodigal son. I’m saying this because I don’t want you to waste your life.

GETTING STARTED // Write down the top 5-10 people in your life. Not in theory, but who are the people you invest the most time with? Write down their names on a piece of paper. Are those people what you want to become like? Are they encouraging and helping you grow to be a better person or are they sucking the life out of you? Sometimes there is a very difficult reality that you might need some new friends.