SILENT WISDOM // There is a whole lot of wisdom in the book of Proverbs in the Bible. King Solomon is known as one of the wisest men in history. In my post, Halo of Influence, I share a Proverb about walking with the wise to become wise (Proverbs 13:20). Another Proverb about wisdom (Proverbs 17:27-28) says, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

I was reminded of a few quotes in my life on being silent: We had a coach in high school that would say, “Freshman are seen, not heard.” There was a song back in 1999, also when I was in high school, sung by Alison Krauss where the chorus went, “You say it best, when you say nothing at all.” The Black Eyed Peas reminded us with their hit song to “Shut up, just shut up, shut up.”

In our world today, silence is often perceived as passive or weak. Our generations are used to having instant podiums at their finger tips with social media. The podium gives instant feedback – allowing us to accept those that “like” our ideas and deleting, filtering, unfriending, or even attacking those that disagree. The words put on those screens can be harmful and poisonous. I’ve seen many Facebook posts that people wouldn’t dare say face-to-face. Many studies link social media to an increase in depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Yesterday was election day, which is one of my least favorite seasons. One, I can’t stand all of the commercials, junk mail, junk texts, junk e-mails, and radio ads. The negativity and smear campaigns far outweigh the good that people are doing and the positive impact they’ve made to this world. Two, it causes so much divide among long-time friends, especially on social media. It baffles me that people think they will convince others by bashing their beliefs publicly, like they’ll read those unfiltered attacks and think, “Wow, they’re absolutely right. I’m going to change my mind right now.”

These are times when I can fully understand how Solomon was so right – sometimes the most intelligent thing we can do is keep our mouth (or typing fingers) quiet. In the book of James (James 19:19) in the Bible says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

This doesn’t mean to always be silent, choosing to not speak up or stand up for what’s right. I’m learning that when I don’t know the answer, it’s okay to not make one up. I’ve also found that it’s wiser to take your time before speaking, instead of responding out of anger, frustration, or hurt. Give your emotions time to calm down and your mind time to process. Take a moment to consider the ripple effects of the words you are about to choose. Words have incredible power – in the Bible we see words creating the world, words putting curses on generations of families, and words healing those that were hopeless. Please make sure that the words coming out of your mouth are the ones you really believe in.

GETTING STARTED // I challenge you to reflect on how you interact with people. When you disagree, how do you respond? What is your ultimate objective? Is the outcome what you had hoped for? I recently took the DISC Personality test which reinforced that I’m a people pleaser. I’m not challenging you to let people walk all over you. I’m encouraging you to take an extra moment before you speak to make sure that words about to come out of your mouth are what you intend to speak, and to remember that sometimes the smartest thing you can say is nothing.

TO MY BOYS // “I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad