YOU ARE WHAT YOUR SURROUND YOURSELF WITH // Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if I fully believe that, but I do know that the environments we are exposed to shape who we are. We were born into some of those environments and had zero control over them, while others we can have a lot of control of.

I know that when I hang out with certain people, I get really excited hearing about their projects, business dreams, or recent vacations. That motivates me to be a more productive and driven man! At least for a few days…until the feeling wears off.

There is also what I will call the Culver’s dilemma. When I go out to eat and have the best intentions of ordering something healthier, or at least smaller potions, then hear my wife order a double cheeseburger basket with cheese curds, my good intentions get thrown out the drive-up window right away and I’m getting the same, but with fries and a small chocolate Reese’s peanut butter cup concrete mixer with peanut butter sauce. What’s wrong with me?!

PROVERB // In the Bible, Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” If we just put ourselves in the radius of wise people we become wise, like it will just rub off on us! But it also warns that if we hang out with fools we’re going to suffer. Not that we will become a fool, but that we will suffer harm. The biggest takeaway here is that both have a major impact on outcome. One outcome being Wisdom while the other outcome is Harm. When you look back at some of your childhood stories and some of the dumbest things you did in your life – how many of them involved an idea from someone else? Or trying to do what someone else was doing?

When I was in middle school we had a Home Economics class where we had to learn how to use a sewing machine. One day we were given the task of following a dot-to-dot with a threadless needle to work on our sewing accuracy and agility. This exercise didn’t take long, leaving idle hands for some foolish company. One kid, we’ll call him Tim, was sitting at his machine and there were a few of us around him. I stupidly dared another kid to stick his finger under the needle. He declined. I said, “Duh, watch.” No sooner had I put the tip of my finger directly under that needle when Tim’s foot tapped the pedal. I still have a scar on the tip of my left pointer finger as a reminder of how stupid that was.

DEFYING GRAVITY // Now think back to those moments that you would say you were at your best. What was different? You were motived. You had a goal. You probably had a friend, or team, or coach, or mentor, or parent, or spouse at your side all along the way. If you want to defy gravity, defying the world around you, it takes clear dreams, but it also takes a great support system around you.

DON’T BE A FOOL // In James Clear’s book Atomic Habits he has a quote that will forever be engraved in my mind: “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” I would take that a step further and say the people you choose to welcome into your life are a step towards the person you will become.

Dear Sons,

Don’t be a fool! Don’t surround yourself with people that are making choices that you don’t want for your life. Don’t hang out with people that don’t speak truth and life into you. If someone sucks the life out of you – respectfully decline their company. I’m not saying this because I’m afraid you’ll embarrass me. I love you always and no matter what. If I have to, I will be that father pacing back and forth for the prodigal son. I’m saying this because I don’t want you to waste your life.

GETTING STARTED // Write down the top 5-10 people in your life. Not in theory, but who are the people you invest the most time with? Write down their names on a piece of paper. Are those people what you want to become like? Are they encouraging and helping you grow to be a better person or are they sucking the life out of you? Sometimes there is a very difficult reality that you might need some new friends.

TO MY BOYS // “I’m so proud of you. I’m thankful every day that I get to be your dad! You are the very best parts of me. You are dearly loved by your mom and me. Now go out there and do your best.” – Dad